Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock, Knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what is the difference between an octopus and a dead dolphin? one as tentacles the other is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

thumb_up thumb_down +16

http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats white and sticky? Glue.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops