i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call a black man on a killing spree? whatever his xbox live gamertag is. that would probably be most appropriate

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A duck walks into a bar. The duck walks over to the bartender and orders a beer. "put it on my bill." he says. The bartender angrily grabs the duck and kicks him out of the bar, because the duck has done this many times, but has never once paid his bill to the bar. The duck is an alcoholic and is slowly ruining his relationship with his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the grocery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what happened to the little kid on a bicycle? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you make a clown cry? You hit them with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the blonde staring at a container of orange juice? She wanted to make sure that it did not contain any pulp.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah Witness

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why wasn't cacto at school that day. Because Silas gave him extreme butthole aids.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? He didn't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anyone can post anything.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops