HAHAH MY WORD IS HAPPY CLAPPY

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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One day a black guy bought some fried chicken. The clerk said: Lol you guys always eat chicken! Lol said the black guy, yeah I am here a lot. Clerk: No I meant your kind of you know... I KNOW WHAT? Clerk: You guys at the studio next door! Oh, yeah, lol I almost thought you meant my skin color! Clerk: You fucking Negroes always thinking we are racist...

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What bouriquet got to do open HIS FACEBOOK!

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NEVER

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A man walks into a bar. He is promptly taken to the hospital where he finds out that he may have a concussion.

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Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

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i know you talk the talk but can you talk the talk

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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