What's worse then a worm in your apple? When your apples a human

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Why'd the blonde jump out the window? To kill herself

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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You know what he said? How did you know what he said?

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What happened to the homeless man at midnight? He took a shit on the ground

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? -Gave her a timeout

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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yesterday, a girl asked me why a guy is Bro if he bangs alot of chicks, and chicks are hoes if they do alot of guys. i said to her “well, if one key can open a lot of locks, then it is the master key. if a lock can be opened by alot of keys, then it’s a shittyass lock, isn’t it

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What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

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I asked my wife to make me a sandwich. I had forgotten she was dead.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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