What did the hitler youth kid get for Christmas? An easy bake oven and a G.I. Jew.

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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Is it a bird, Is it a plane, I don't know what it is but it's heading straight for the World Trade Centre

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? It depends on the type of cheese.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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23 convicts were showering. One of them dropping his soap bar. The person next to him picked it up, and the one who dropped it said thanks.

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychological disorder.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops