why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead.

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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Why didn't little Billy cross the road? He was dead.

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Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

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Roses are red Violets are blue Hop in the van or I will rape you

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An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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I'm called the! no i wish am I left

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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Why is the Holocaust/Worm in your apple joke the highest rated joke on Anti Jokes? Most of the viewers of this website clicked on a thumbs up symbol directly below the joke, which by the coding of this website triggered an algorithm that caused the number adjacent to this thumbs up button to increase and also caused the joke to appear higher on the list of most popular jokes.

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Holocaust jokes are in bad taste, Anne Frankly I won't have any of it.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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