Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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How many beavers does it take to paint a house blue? 0, beavers cant paint.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because there was a hair in his burrito

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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Pope: how to help the unfortunate people my fellow Christians? Christians: We should give donations and a lot of support. What we always do. Pope: and i shall wear this golden hat, sit on a high quality super expensive chair, this rope with gold attached to the decorations, and wave my golden staff as you help these poor innocent children. Christians: yes...that... Pope: P.S: and live in an expensive church with many children alone.

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what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

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Why did the woman stop running? She was an escaped convict that had been on the run for twelve years and the police had finally found the place where she was hidding. Upon arriving at her house she started to open fire on the three police cars, hit two cops and killed one more. The two are fine and are going through physical therapy as they were both hit in the spine and have a difficult time performing the smallest task. The one was one called billy. Billy had died in the hospital after asking if they had got her. He died believing a lie. They never got her. She is still on the run, I lied about her stopping.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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A Mexican, a Chinese man, and a cowboy are on a plane. The plane is crashing, and they need to get rid of anything to make the plane lighter so thet can glide to safety. The cowboy throws out all of his boots and says we have to many of these. Then the Mexican throws out all of his taco shells and says we have to many of these. Then the Chinese man throws out the Mexican and says we have to many of these.(:

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She got shot in the head by her drunk step-dad.

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My closet is like the wardrobe to Narnia, accept my closet isnt a portal into a magical world.

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Everyone is equal. It doesn't matter if you're black, red, yellow, brown, or normal.

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Smoke Day, Every Weed.

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whats worse than 2 jews 3 jews

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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