A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

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Your mom is so fat she probably has a body mass index of between 25 and 30 which is considered to be "overweight" but paradoxically is associated with fewer health risks by medical professionals.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Q. Why did the man walk away from his wife? A. Because he wanted to walk away from his wife.

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A. why'd the chicken cross the road? B.a dog got hit by a bus.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Two Jewish men are walking when they see a penny on the ground. They continue walking because pennies are not worth picking up in today's economy

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops