What do you call a Jewish dinosaur? Fossil Fuel

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How many immature teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Your Mum.

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Old Mother Hubbard Went to the cupboard, To give the poor dog a bone: When she came there, The cupboard was bare, And so the poor dog had none. So Old Mother Hubbard was reported for animal cruelty

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Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

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"I see" said the blind man to the deaf man... On the phone

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what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

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A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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What's big, red, and eats rocks? A big, red, rock eater.

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A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Why couldn't Jimmy go bowling with the rest of his friends? His parents shot him.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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