- Anti Joke

How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree? you wave.

What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

What's funnier than Tom Cruise laughing like a badass? Chuck Norris

A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

How can you tell if someone is a global warming alarmist? Their IQ on average is 10 points below normal

Guess what? Chickenbuttt hahahah! lolomfg

Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

^ That's not even funny ^

Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

Are you from Africa because you sure look likes you've got Ebola

What's the difference between celery and a truck?

women's rights.

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

How does Fred drink his milk? -computer

What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are the same.

Who is the fastest kid in AA? Alex Solomos

This is an anti-joke.

We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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