how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Why are VIOLETS blue?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing becasue a mute is a person who cannot speak and a deaf man ould not hear the jumbled mumblings anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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Yes

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Wanna hear a joke? Women Voteing. -Austin Conradt

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Q: Who was the most famous French skeleton? A: Napoleon bone-apart.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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