What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's 9+10? 19

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What did the Firefighter say to his crew when they put out the fire.... - Let's go home.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

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Why did the Indian cross the road? Trail of Tears.

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Gawds Trololols: Jewsus: I die for ur Sins, now u are free! *argh* Gawd AD 3000: TIME TO DIE SINNERS! Jewsus: But I paid for humanity`s sins and am stuck in hell because of this and... Gawd: Meh just didnt really liek you TROLOLOL! Gawds Trololols 2 directors clit: Gawd: Jebus! (the third) I want you to trololol peeps now! GO! Jebus: As you see people, I have died for you in order to prove that I am immortal! Peeps: Uh, wow? Jebus: TROLOLOL! So dad, when am I gonna get back to earth again, I kinda promised my boyfriends/apostles that there would be a second cumming as you told me to do, and people have been waiting for over twothousand and fourtee... Gawd: Never! Trolololol! Moral: "Would you trust a being whose veins are loaded with alcohol?" Jesus 2: The second coming: In cincemas never!

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a motorcycle nothing, I dont have either

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Cheese

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Balls

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Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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God saw himself. Finally, proof.

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How old are you? 7

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my d i c k in your a s s.

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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A black woman and a white woman are in a bar. They don't talk to each other though because they don't know each other. THE END.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops