Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

if you don't like this you're gay

I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

Then I contracted bronchitis from the smoke. Unfortunately I don't not have time to visit a doctor to mend this debilitation. In fact, nobody does.

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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