Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

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How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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why did the blonde put on a coat? because she was cold.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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How high is the grass in Germany? Approximately the same height as the grass in America.

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HELLO EVERYONE

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Why wouldn't Julius Caesar like olives on his pizza? Because he's dead.

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: A kid fell in the mud.

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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