How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas?? - Cancer

How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

what did the duck say to the monkey.............. QUACK!!!!!!!!

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

If pro is the opposite of con what's the opposite of progress? Retrogression.

What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Q: Suzy loves apples, she will do anything to get her hands on an apple. Why didn't she eat Tom's apple? A: She ate someone elses apple and then he killed her before she could get to tom's!!!

What do lazy asses get for Christmas? Fat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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