When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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Your mommas so stupid she decided to go to night school to better her self. She got a degree in business and finance and is now a manager for HSBC

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Why shouldn't you tell a joke during an earthquake. Cause it is not the time nor the place to tell a joke

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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What's the difference between a good anti joke, and a bad anti joke? There literally is no good anti joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson

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My mother always said that jumping in piles of leaves was fun. That was before she died of pancreatic cancer.

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Why can't Helen Keller just kidding she's dead

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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A teenage girl walks into a bar. She sits down and watches the TV up against the wall. The bartender walks by and says "Hello, do you have I.D." The girl says "No, I'm just here waiting for my ride." The bartender then says "Well I'm sorry to have to tell you this but you gotta be 21 or over to sit in the bar." The girl says "Okay, but is there anywhere I can wait that is safe?" The bartender asks "Why?" and the girl replies "Well, I've been hiding from my ex boyfriend. I just broke up with him an hour ago. He was very controlling and he is still not over me. So now I'm here waiting for my new boyfriend." The bartender says "What you have a new boyfriend already? Maybe that's why your ex was angry." The girl says "yeah, I know, oh look there's my ride. It was nice talking with you, have a good night."

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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why did the black man shoot himself? because he commited a crime and was sorry for what he had done

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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