Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

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Q. If you're paddling up river and you lose three tires, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? A. Purple because ice cream has no bones.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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When is a bus not a bus? When it turns into a street

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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Why did the spy cross the road? To get to the other hide.

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why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

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bunnies are fluffy just like yo mama

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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whats red, sits in a corner and is slowly getting smaller and smaller baby with a cheese grater whats green and sits motionless in the corner same baby 2 weeks later

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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A child walks into a bar. I swear those jungle gyms are too short.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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why did rosa parks get moved to the back of the bus? she didnt call shotgun

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he saw his ex-girlfriend walking down the street so he was trying to kill her by hitting her in the head with the clock.

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A bar walks into a man... The man begins screaming uncontrollably as the corner of the building is inserted into his anus. Brick by brick, the bar forces its way inside the man's ass, as blood begins dripping down his legs. The man knows damn well it is impossible for such a large building to be contained inside him, but he grits his teeth and forces his ass open wider. His ribs break, his lungs collapse, and his now lifeless body is stretched into the shape of the bar. The bar is almost entirely consumed before the man's skin gives way to the bulging pressure...with an explosion of blood & organs, the shredded remains of the man are slung-shot around the lot where the bar formerly stood. The bar, now soaked in a mixture of blood & organ fluid, reflects upon the failure of its experiment. For the next attempt, a man of far greater fortitude must be used, so that his body does not burst so easily. Only then will it achieve its dream of becoming the first bar to walk into a man.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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What did Queen Victoria say when she saw a zombie? "Quick everybody, run, that is a zombie."

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what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

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Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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