What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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I'm tired.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Whats worse then a worm in your apple This joke

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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roses are red violets are blue i bribed a hobo to eat my poopoo

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you will like this because i am black.

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

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What do you call a Mexican that crossed the border. An Illegal Immigrant.

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What do you call someone who can legally murder? OJ Simpson

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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