A preschool teacher told his class to draw a squirrel. One child proceeds to break into tears. The teacher says "what's wrong Johnny?" Johnny said "my whole family was slaughtered by a gang of squirrels!" this upset the teacher

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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the chicken crossed the road. the chicken was then caught by animal control because it was in the middle of a city.

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Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

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What did the the man, the dog, and the psychiatrist talk about? The man's childhood experience losing his pet as a contributer to his symptoms of psychosis.

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Uh Oh you just fell, So, So I've got one thing to say to you, And what's that Don't fall it gets you down!!!!!!!!

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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What happened when the boy got sad He fell in a woodchipper

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

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A man and a woman walk into a bar... They both die from cerebral hemorrhages.

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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Who created Apple? Steve jobs.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Subject A: Knock Knock! Subject B: *silence* Subsequently, Subject A dejectedly walks home and hangs himself.

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What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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It's all Taggart

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops