What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

I like my women how i like my coffee. Without a penis.

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

what do Russians play? Tetris, what else?

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

The next person to submit a 'roses are red' 'joke', is cursed to always prematurely ejaculate from here until eternity

MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

what is green and has weels? grass i was kidding about the weels.

What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

Young Billy was arrested today for saying he was going to be a terrorist for Halloween.

So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

HA HA HA HA HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHYHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA - Bomber

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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