what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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A blonde is rowing a boat in a cornfield. While driving by, another blonde notices and pulls over and steps out of her car. She looks out and yells "You know, it's blondes like you that are giving us a bad name. If you weren't so far out, I would swim out there and beat the shit outta you!"

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

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What's big and looks like a mushroom? A Mushroom.

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a bus

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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knock knock. Who is there? You have. You have who? Your entire family in my basement.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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What did the man want a car for his birthday? 7.

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What's brown and smells like shit? An oddly shaped birthmark on a dirty homeless man

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Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

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What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

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Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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