Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

What is a mean thing to say to Stephen Hawking? Please take a seat.

I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

Mugger: Give me all your money. Victim: No. Mugger: Okay. (Moves on to find his next victim)

Why don't they have any badminton courts in the jungle? There just isn't the demand.

What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

What do you call a Mexican guy in America? A Mexican American

johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

Why didnt the teenager have a smartphone? He didnt live close to a cell phone store

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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