Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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what's worse then the holocaust finding a worm in your apple.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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Excuse me. Oh, would you mind hitting the 15th floor button for me? Thanks.

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Knock knock Come in

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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What do you call a man with a horse? A man

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How many victims of the holocaust does it take to screw in a light bulb? Zero. They're all dead you sick fuck.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? ...Not being retarted.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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I think everybody should have a penis.

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Roses are red... Violets are blue... I have Alzheimers... CHEESE ON TOAST

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops