Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

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A black man and a white man crash their cars. they promptly exchange insurance information and apologize to each other about the inconvenience.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Find a half-worm.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's bigger.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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What starts with a J, and burned in the oven? My Jumbalaya, i left it in for too long...

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Q; why did the German ask the Jew to go in his shower? A; because the Jew had stayed the night at the Germans house.

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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Knock knock? Who's there? Why don't you answer the damn door and find out for yourself?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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