Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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When life gives you lemons, go sell them for crack.

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What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

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Do you know what's sad about 4 black men driving off a cliff in a convertible? They were my friends.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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A mexican, Japanese, and American man are eating lunch one day at work by the window. The Mexican says, "Wow! If I get a taco one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The Japanese man says, "Wow! If I get a bowl or ramen one more time for lunch, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The American says" If I get grilled cheese one more time, I'm gonna jump off this window!" The next day, the mexican jumped off because he got a taco. Then, the japanese man jumped off for getting ramen. Then, the American jumped off for getting a grilled cheese sandwhich. At the funeral, the mexican wife said, "Oh if i knew he was gonna jump, I would'nt have packed it." The japanese wife said, "If I knew he was gonna jump, I wouldn't have packed it either." The American wife didn't say anything because she was hit by a bus.

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What's the difference between Jesus and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang up a painting.

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How do you get santa to stop delivering presents? Kill your parents.

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Q: why was the baker a coward? A: his own mother told him his potential would amount to nothing more than a baker and when a dinosaur came into the bakery he ran away

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

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Once upon a time, there were a lot of Jews......

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Why did the jew save his money? Because his wife has cancer and the radiation treatments are very expensive.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the wife get her husband after he became a paraplegic in a car accident? Divorce papers.

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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Roses are grey Violettes are grey I am colour blind And I suck at rhymes

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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