That`s my friends phone, I can call you from mine too if you want, please just don't hurt me, let me speak to you, I promise I will explain everything.

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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What happened to the gun that was jammed? It didn't shoot.

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why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

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Q: How do you make Osama Bin Ladin happy? A: Take him out to a nice seafood dinner free of charge.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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Why arent guys and girls the same? Cause there different

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you call a girl with an iq of 13 Dead

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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WNBA

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I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

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Why did the pedophile cross the road? To molest a child.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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