what did the duck with roller skates say to the camel? how are the wife and kids?

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Why did the piano explode? Beacause someone planted an explosive inside of it.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, No, violets are VIOLET, That’s why they’re called “violets.” Edmund Spenser was an idiot.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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