Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

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what do you call a black person with no legs or arms? A poor man that clearly was inflicted very badly.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Rozes r read Vilets r blew iy cahn noht spell becuase i am blind.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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There is a terrorist attack. Muslims are blamed for it.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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If a red house has red bricks, and a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour of bricks does a greenhouse have? Greenhouses are made of glass.

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what did I say to myself nothing because its very weird to talk to your self

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Knock Knock? Why did you just say knock knock just ring the doorbell

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Your muma is so ugly she went to a ugly competition and got kicked out "no pros aloud".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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