Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Q: What do you call a barn full of black people? A: Antique farm equipment.

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk gets in his car and has a terrible crash because he was to intoxicated the end.

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Someone said "catch" and threw a bowling ball at him.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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What should you do if you have a 10 inch penis? Subtly tell the world via an anti-joke

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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What's blue and rhymes purple? Get Out

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Santa and smart blond jump off a building who lands frost none nethither exist

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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caoimhin is a dorty carrot

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Who always participates in "No shave November"? The homeless.

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kennah campion when she talks

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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why was the boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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