What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Tell me you're a rapist. You're a rapist. This joke makes no sense. Mashed potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you call a toddler with a gun? uninteresting

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops