Why can't Vampires go out in the sunlight? Because they don't exist.

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How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

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What did the sign say? It said slow down

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Your mom is so stupid that her parents were probably ashamed of her low grades.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

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A man violently rapes a small child. Unfortunately the child has aids and gives them to the man.

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Why did the old man cross the road? Coz he was in an ambulance

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noah is a scrub jungle

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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