What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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Q: What did little Timmy get from his mother this Christmas? A: The contents of her will.

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There's this Priest, a Rabbi and a Preacher talking about how similar they are.

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game

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knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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A guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "whered you get the pig?" The guy says, "It's not a pig its a parrot." The bartender says, "i was talking to the parrot."

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Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

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What did the plane say to the world Trade Center on 9/11? Nothing a plane is an object therefore cannot talk.

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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So, as everyone knows, two different species (flavors) of cheerios cannot mate, right (common knowledge)? That is, if one is honey-nut and another is blueberry, they cannot mate. Anyway, there is this one normal cheerio that is in love with a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, he cannot mate with her. He can't even communicate with her because they are of different species. So, he invents a machine that changes all of his CNA (Cheerio DNA) into whichever type of cheerio that he wants. However, this machine performs a process that is extraordinarily painful, because that sort of thing would hurt. Anyway. He does it, and the normal flavored cheerio becomes a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, this girl cheerio hates him so much that she invents an identical machine and does the process on herself in order to become a cinnamon-apple cheerio, just so she can avoid this creeper. So, she does it. The boy cheerio is starting to get upset at this because he really wants her. So he tells himself that he will go through the pain for her, and becomes a cinnamon-apple cheerio. She then changes to a honey-nut cheerio! He decides that this is the last time that he will change cheerio type. He does it, and she changes one more time, into a normal cheerio - the kind he originally was. So he says out loud, "Okay, this is really the last time. If she changes again, I will just stay back with my family." So he becomes a normal cheerio again, and she doesn't change fast enough for him to put his moves on her. So, they start dating, and he finally asks her to the Formal Bowl (ahaha, get it, bowl instead of ball). Anyway, they get there and dance intensely for a few hours. They do all different kinds of dances. They do the tango, which was not very good. Also, they square dance, like rednecks. Finally, they get tired and she sends the boy cheerio to the milk bowl (you know, since it's a cereal dance, they have that and punch). He gets there and stands in line for ten minutes. Finally fed up at the really long line, he looks over at the bowl of punch and realizes there is no punch line.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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