Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is Alqueida's favorite football team? The New York Jets.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

thumb_up thumb_down +9

jeanna:fu** jack:did u just say fu** jeanna:jew? jack:fu** u jew

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats better than nailing a baby to a wall? Ripping it off the wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops