A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

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the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "There goes my income. I dont know how I'll support my family now, or keep my crops alive."

A man goes in to a town on Friday, stays there for 3 days, and leaves on Friday. How is this possible? He's lying,

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

Dont listen to your heart all it dose is BEAT BEAT BEAT

Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

What's a green tasty vegetable? None, they're vegetables.

Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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