a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse does not say anything because its a horse and horses cannot talk.

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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What do you call two black men flying an airplane? Pilots.

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I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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WOw you have no life

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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where's mom I killed her

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Ruebin is Red, Curtis is too. i think i need a sweaty poo

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why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? A gameboy

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A kid is stuck in a fire, his dad (a firefighter) comes and saves him. Sadly the kid needed surgery from the fire. He went to the hospital and when the doctor looked at him he said "I cannot operate on my own son." How can this be? His parents are gay...

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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I took my sick iguana to the Vet. He said why did you bring him to me, a former soldier?

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knock knock no no you go now i clean

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A White, a Black, and a Hispanic man walk into a bar. They sit down and have a nice conversation, tip their bartender and then leave.

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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There are 3 guys, a fat guy, a skinny guy, and sexy guy. They all work together and have lunch together. The fat guy opens his bag and eats a ham and turkey sandwich. The skinny guy opens his bag and eats a tuna sandwich. The sexy guy opens his bag and eats an egg sandwich. The fat guy finishes his meal. The skinny guy saves half for later. The sexy guy ate more than half of his food. A genie magically appears. The End

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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