What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops after 3 hos

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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I once walked into my grandmas house to find her laying face down on the ground. It turns out that everyone was planking but grandma wasn't breathing...

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

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There are two jews in an oven. One says "It sure is hot in here" and the other says "AHH A TALKING JEW"

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Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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A man walks into a bar. Something funny happens.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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roses are red violets are blue maskrosor are gula

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What do the NRA and PETA have in common? Both are prominent interest groups from whom political candidates try to obtain votes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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