i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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A man goes into a butcher shop and says, "I bet you 350 euro that you can't reach that bit of meat," indicating a cut of beef hanging above him. The butcher looks up and says, "No way." The man says, "Why not?" And the butcher answers, "I have a huge gambling addiction, after losing my family to it, this job is all I have left" The man leaves, ruing the silly bet he had placed.

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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Q: Why was it bad to be a black jew during the Holocaust? A: You had to sit at the back of the gas chamber

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Super Monkey Ball Deluxe. Super Monkey Ball Deluxe who? Oh no.

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Why don't black people listen to country music Because every time they here hoe down the think there wife just got shot No sorry for anybody who's black I luv ya don't think twice I have thirty blk friends

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I rode in to town on an ass... ur momas ass!!

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roses are red violets are blue i like movies get me a taco

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what did Tim do when he got married? He kissed the bride Mecheoo LOVES ASS

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Prostitution is bad.......

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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The awkward when you didn't actually say moment.

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Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? (Because she was blind and deaf?) No, because she was a woman.

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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Why did the gay man's ass hurt? He has rectal cancer.

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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