Why did the little girl cry? Her mom died

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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I am a dwarf and im digging a hole... lol jokes dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist

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A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Chuck Norris once jumped off of a 9 story building. He broke half of the bones in his body because he is 71 years old.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Who is Dank? A: Billal

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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How will the world end? That information is unknown

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms or legs. Why did Susie drown? Because she fell in a puddle. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzy!

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops