Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

What do the snake and the bird have in common? They can both fly, except for the snake...

Q: what sport has a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench? A:the NBA

Man sees a hot girl. The hot girl sees him. The man asks her out on a date. After five years of dating he asks for her hand in marriage. She says "No way, I'm married you horror!!!" The man cries and moves in with his mom... Two days later he commits suicide.

What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa

I have an idea! You leave.

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

I may have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

What do you call a shop dedicated to selling rap music, watermelons, grape soda and fried chicken? A poor business model

Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

What did the dealer say to the addict? Sup.

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

What did the fat man do? He fell over...

roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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