Why was the man lying under a sheet. Because he was dead.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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Why was the school girl called a dork. Because a whale penis is called a dork, and she identically resembles a giant aquatic dick.

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Your mama so fat that when she cut herself gravey came out and we drank it too!

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

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What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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What's faker than Nicki Minaj's tits? Women rights.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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An Irishman walks into a bar.....Duh.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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Why couldn't Jack and Jill climb the hill? Because they were bagels.

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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It takes a minute to know somebody, an hour to fall in love, but a lifetime to forget. Once, my mom forgot me at Disney World.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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A blond, brunet, and redhead were stranded on an island. With in a week they all died of starvation.

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When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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