Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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That is a bad anti-joke down there | V

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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Life on the line? I just do it for the kill and the potential savage rape and consumption! And yeah, a man is not a man but a boy if he cant protect his lady friends. HEY WAIT A FUCKING MOMENT! Why you playing so hard to get now? YOUR FLESH IS MINE! It is just like a billion pages ago where we where talking VERY down and dirty.

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

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What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Roses are red violets are blue, your library book is overdue, and if you dont pay the fine...i'll punch you in the mouth.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey? Just a sort of mixed bird thing.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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How many people does it take to make a fun party? Idk, that's why I asked you, you see I'm throwing a party and wantedto know how many people I should invite.

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Why was the black family eating at K.F.C? The food there is really good and they had a discount on the family bucket.

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A baby seal walks into a bar... The bartender looks at it and says: too young.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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your mom is so fat that when she walks in America with a yellow coat as they get a taxi

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One night, a man was bitten by Dracula. The first thing to come out of his mouth was "Joke's on you, I have AIDS!" Then proceeded to laugh hysterically until Dracula snapped his neck

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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Smeg...

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Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

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What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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