What happens when you go from a jew to a penguin? A huge climate change.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was involved in a homicide at the Children's Hospital resulting in death row right away and was involved in the killing of 12 other numbers on last Tuesday.

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What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?....

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Roses are red , violets are blue, you like 1d? STFU

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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