Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette were on an island. There were loads of other people too - the UK is a pretty popular place to live.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

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Why did the Black man cross the road? To get to Pop-Eye's since KFC is too expensive nowadays. HELL-YA

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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Q: Why was the little boy late for school? A: His face was stapled to a wall.

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a black man walks into a shop, he buys his groceries, then leaves...

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What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

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Why was the Asian terrible at driving? He was drunk.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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