Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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%3c%2fa%3e%3c%2fh3%3e alert("The Game."); %3cScR%69pt%2ffoo%3eev%61l%28%27ale%27+%27ert%28%29%27%29;

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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What do you call an earthquake on Mars? There is not enough water on planet Mars for something like that to happen.

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I had a lemon. hi.

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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What's twelve inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

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Death by kayak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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