whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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A plane crashes on the border of canada and america, where do you bury the survivors? I lied there are no survivors and the bodies were incinerated by burning jet fuel so theres nothing to bury.

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Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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Knock Knock Who's there Kevin Kevin who Kevin your friend dumbass

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what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Q: What's worse than both of your parents dying in a terrible car accident? A: Sitting in the back seat with your grandparents.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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A car with four Mexicans drives off of a cliff. What's the bad news? They were my friends.

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Hey man. what? squidbillies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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