how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

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V I T A M I N C !

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, He sailed a boat.

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

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Roses are brown Violets are brown There is crap in my garden

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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what do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question ................

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Why did the little boy cry? He fell down the stairs

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What is 1 + 1 equal to? 2, because if you have one orange and if you add another orange, you will have 2 oranges, therefore 1 plus 1 is 2.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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