Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory? She made skittles.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why didnt santa leave presents under the tree? Because santa doesnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you end a sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

thumb_up thumb_down +34

knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Your mom is so fat, she went to the hospital, and they intern, turned her exess fat into 12 babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats worse than the Holocaust? A second one

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's worse than AIDS Nothing can possibly be worse than finding out you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops