The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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What is the street value of Amy Winehouse's ashes? Nothing. They are ashes, not drugs.

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What did the man in the mirror say to the other man The Same F****** Thing!!

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Why was the little boys mom watching tv in the living room? Better question why is she out of the kitchen.

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Why did the man walk instead of taking the bus? Because he felt like getting a heathy workout.

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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I was not scared, I was disappointed, I was expecting to see you for you, not the whole strange outfit getup, what was the point of that? I know the deal about hypnosis and stuff, did you know it is actually known as monoideoism? But I really cant figure for the life of me how it is physically possible to be under a deep state of trance and completely awake at the same time.

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Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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