the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Zen Buddhist say in the hamburger store? He said, "Make me one with everything."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares? Seriously, who, on this planet, bothers to care about such a trivial matter? Is it really that important to you that must be given clarification as to why a random bird species just happened to cross a road? Will knowing benefit your life in some fashion? Well I'd like to know how. Ha! Perhaps you feel that, if you have the answer revealed to you, it will give you extra guidance of some sort in raising a chicken as a pet, or training a chicken to perform tricks for an animal contest, or something along those lines. Well I'm afraid you are out of luck, as I will not tell you. By reading this passage, you are wasting so much precious time. As you keep reading, seconds pass and you only waste more. You could be doing so much more with your life right now. Instead, you could be studying a topic that you might need to be knowledgeable about in the future. You could be shopping for goods. You could be painting a nice picture, writing a short story, or composing a piece of music. You could be getting exercise, or cleaning your house, or spending time with family, or even raising money for charity. There are countless meaningful tasks that you could be carrying out which would benefit you and others around you, including those who are less fortunate than you. But no. Instead you choose to do nothing, reading useless and forgettable anti-jokes on a crummy website, with a strange, fruitless desire of knowing why a chicken crossed a road. You must have such a sad life. You know what? I pity you, so I have decided that I will tell you why the chicken crossed the road. But only if you want to know. You might not want to know by this point. Do you still want to know? Are you sure you do? Are you really, really sure? Because I'm gonna tell you, regardless. Just keep reading! Don't take your eyes off the screen! You will find out exactly why the chicken crossed the road in 3... 2...1... and here we go! Ready, kids? The chicken crossed the road because... because... because... whoops, actually, I forgot. Sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the athiest get for christmas? Well he shouldn't get anything becuase he doesn't belive in jesus.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what's worse than 24? 6 million.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"Knock Knock" "Come in"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the editor lose his job at a poetry magazine? Because he's worthless.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar and orders a shot. The bartender asks to see his I.D. The man explains that he had lost his I.D. earlier in the day. The bartender then asked the man to leave, so he left.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Click here to end the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops