A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Showcasing you? Really? I am tired too, yeah its daytime here as well, sleep well then. Hey, by the way, when you where like posting a lot of weird comments, where you trying to impress me?

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar... However, it's really busy, so they leave and go to a different bar.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

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Why did Phil Krahn cross the road? Because he is gay

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by two giant black scorpions.

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What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Shltskc gw? G

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When birds fly south for the winter they fly in a V formation. one side is always longer than the other. why is that? Because there are more birds on that side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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