A: Knock Knock! B: RING THE DOORBELL YA DUMMY

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Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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What's green, smelly, and in a swamp? Casey Anthony's Baby

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You wanna see something really scary?

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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A black guy and a mexican guy are falling from a building. Which one hits the ground first? Who cares

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what do you call a middle-aged man with one blue suede shoe on, purple hair, pink skin, white eyes, no toenails, 67 fingers, 1 eye, a pocket watch, no clothes, and 8978967564567898765432345678765321234568909876543w245678909876543456098765323456-0987654367890-098765435678-09876543456789098765432345678909876543456789098765435678909876543234567898765323456890-987654345678900987654323456890987653234567890765434568909876543456899876543456789098765434568909876545678987654345678987654567898765434567898765478579458765456789876543223456789876543098765432123456898765432678987654230987653-098765434567898765434898765434567898765456787654567876 butt cheeks? bob.

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Knock knock Who's there Evan Evan who Evans erectile area is largo with Sarah plains pudding

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

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Q: Whats the difference between a Jew and a Boy-scout A: Boy-scouts come back from camp

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.. A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: Not Sally

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Whats black, white, and red all over? a dead panda.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

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I hate weddings! Old people always poke u and say "ur next" so I've decided to do the same to them... At Funerals

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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