Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

What did the Norwegian say to the Englisman? ØLølølølÅæåøåæøåæåæåæåæåæåæåæå

How do you stop a lumberjack? You thrust a javelin through his lungs

What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

A American seeking into mexico

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, but she had anal hemorrhaging so it really hurt

What do you call a blue chair A black person

How do you make a priest cry? ... You kill his family

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

What do you call a woman between two houses? Her name.

Why was the little girl sad? Why???? Because an elephant stamped on her, and shat on her.

YOU WONT GIVE THIS A THUMBS UP!!!! YOU WONT DO ITTTT

My mom always said that jumping in a pile of leaves was fun! That was before a 20 foot long iguana bit her head off...

Why did the Arab bomb the US? Because it was his job.

Your mother is so fat, that somebody should inform her of the risks of eating unhealthy foods because she could obtain life threatening diseases.

Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

I see you driving 'Round town with the girl I love And I'm like, Haiku!

wouldnt it be ironic if chuck norris was shooting blanks

how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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