One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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Why do Mexicans always have heart burn? Because the food is spicy.

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Half life 3 confirmed

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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I have alzheimers and one day me and my nephew were............................

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Why are some people so good at basketball? Because they are all black.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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How many babies can you fit in a bottle? None, a bottle is too small

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Q: Why is the sky green? A: It's not

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A batch of muffins is baking in an oven. One muffin says to another... Oh sorry, scratch that, they can't talk; they're f***ing muffins. (CSC)

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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Four brothers joined the army and were deployed to Iraq. Two of them committed suicide.

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops. tom halls mum

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How do you get a Blonde to brake her nosebone? You put your dick under a glastable! QQ

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chuck norris was bit by a snake, a few hours later he died

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Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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What should you do if a stranger picks you up? Politely request that he put you down.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

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What is your name, sir? My name is not Sir, my name is Jeff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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