A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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Did you hear about the three Arabs that hijacked a plane? They drove it into the Pentagon.

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How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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How do you know if someone is vegan? They'll tell you.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

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what did the one girl say to the other girl? i like your shoes.

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What's worse than a rainy day? Rape.

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Why didnt jerry trip over a slug? Because jerry is an arabian and the atmosphere in arabi is to hot for a slug.

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knock knock Get off my porch I've already called the police.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Downs Syndrome... and a ding-dong potato

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What do you do when a red gorilla comes running at you with 7 dominoes in his hand Ask him to stop

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Penis

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Two friends were hanging out. One of them asks, "what's that awful smell?" the other replies, "I AM NOT A ROBOT!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops