There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you call a Black guy who flies planes? A pilot

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Why was the All-black Basketball team disqualified? Because they all died in a hotel fire.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

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what did the black, asian and jew have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantoulope.

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Q: Whats green and has wheels? A: Any form of motorized vehicle that is made for transportation and has a green paint scheme.

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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When life gives you melons. You're not dyslexic because you can probably tell the difference between a lemon and melon because they look so different.

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when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. when life gives you melons, you are soon diagnosed with dyslexia.

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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Did you hear about the man who went up into space without a space suit? He died.

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

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I can vote and I am equal to males in the work enviornment. That's what she said.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Ruff, hi, ruff ruff, we are both dogs ruff ruff, ruff ruff, ruff!!

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Whats funnier than a barrel full of dead babies? two barrels full of dead babies.

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Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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