A chemist and his buddy walk into a bar. The chemist, trying to sound smart, says, "I would like a glass of H20." The buddy, being a normal person who actually cares if he looks like an idiot, asks for plain water.

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Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

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A Russian drinking something other than vodka.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Crossing Guard union had reached a collective agreement and they had returned to work and it was safe to cross once again.

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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What is worse than finding a real joke on Anti-joke.com? Starving children in Africa.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why are ginger's jokes not funny? Because they're gingers.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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What do you call a black man backfilping off a roof The dark knight

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Yo mama is so old, that it's becoming apparent that she is most likely developing severe senial dementia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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