Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And I hate Jewish people

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Whats the difference between Obama and Hitler? One is the President of the United States The other is a fascist dictator that killed millions.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

guess what im a bitch i have no balls and i can slap your mum in the face

thumb_up thumb_down -26

ok so ive been pondering for a while now for a joke to submit and here is what ive got, tell me what you think: quif stain

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How many dead babies can you fit in a child's swimming pool? 9 (Trust me, you won't be able to squeeze the tenth one in there.)

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the baby cry? Because he fell off a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

hey whats your name Im gonna hit you so hard........ that im gonna knock your block off

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

69

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down -26

jimmy walked into a bar, then walked out crying and all desperate seeing his wife cheating on him with another guy sitting in the bar. he jumped in front of a bus and was taken to the hospital. He died due serious injuries. Turns out that it wasn't his wife but her twin sister that neither jimmy nor his wife was aware of her existence.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q: Why did the black man run from the chainsaw? A: Someone was trying to kill him with it.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the little boy have to go to the hospital? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why was the little boy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops