Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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I'm a poet and I didn't even realize I was one

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

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Why did the toddler fall in the pool? He was irresponsibly left unattended outside and tripped on the edge of the pool. He died within two minutes and his parents were blamed for his death.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

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A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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What brown and sticky? A sticky turd

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Who. Who, Who? Shut up you damn owl, I'm trying to deliver a pizza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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